Olber-Lean Script

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View the video here on my blog or on YouTube

Olbermann… presented by…. KaiNexus… spread continuous improvement

Later, my interview with the world’s best Lean healthcare CEO, but…

First the miscreants, losers, and riffraff, the unwashed and the unloved, don’t take it completely seriously, I don’t mean it completely literally, we just call them today’s worst persons in the Lean world.

The bronze goes to Lean consultant John Black, who apparently didn’t learn the lesson about humility and Lean leadership.

When Black was in the running for a big multiyear contract to implement Lean in the Saskatchewan health system, John Black was quoted in the news as saying the following.

“If you’re not dead (in 20 years), you’re going to be in one of your health-care systems here in bed, with a tube up your ass and one down your throat. You’re going to be saying to yourself, ‘My God, I wish I would have asked John Black to come in and help improve my care,’ ” he recalls saying before leaving one meeting. He thought he’d never hear from them again.

He not only heard from them… they opened their wallet and decided to pay him 40 million dollars (Canadian) before that relationship went sour in a really big political storm last year.

Keep in mind, poor John Black was not the victim of some secret recording that was somehow leaked to the media. John Black TOLD the media, willingly, that he said such a thing… bye Felicia.

This just in, Donald Trump has just tweeted that he thinks the John Black comment was a maybe just a little bit conceited…

The runners up are fine chaps at the National Insurance offices in Longbenton, North Tyneside… in England, Great Britain, the United Kingdom. Longbenton, hello!

They were implementing 5S in their office, or what they thought was 5S, and they were trying to “tidy up” people’s desks, which isn’t really the main goal of Lean. Lean’s about creating a more effective workplace that engages everybody in providing better quality and more value to customers… but I digress.

I’m sure they thought the office 5S initiative would be warmly welcomed, but, some found the project to be “demoralising and demeaning.”

According to the Daily Telegraph, the programme has been so far reaching that one member of staff was asked whether a banana was ‘active’ or ‘inactive’, in other words whether it was going to be eaten immediately, which was acceptable, or whether it was for later, which would mean the fruit would have to be cleared from the desk.

An HMRC spokeswoman said the programme, which was devised by consultants to improve performance, would help ensure that office space was efficiently used and would also support working relationships.

We all know bananas interfere with performance! I can’t get anything done with all of those bananas around!

That banana… that banana adds no value to the customer! It’s waste! (office space voice) Yeah, so if you could get rid of those bananas… (Coffee sip) that would be great….

Uh…. are you going to eat that? No? Well, I’m a bit peckish… would you care if I made that an active banana?

Giving me that banana sure would support working relationships. Wait, that banana has a defect… do you have an inactive, non-bruised banana I could have instead? Mmmmm…. Bruised banana…

The company also announced that they’d no longer allow “inactive toilet paper” in the company bathrooms??

But our winner is Lean Sigma consultant Jim Bowie, who calls himself “The Lean Six Sigma Samurai.” I am not making that up.

Now, Jim isn’t the only one who incorrectly says that Lean is only about speed and Six Sigma is needed for quality… you can’t blame him, he read that in Michael George’s book “Lean Six Sigma” and he’s just repeating it.

But the statement in this next clip has to be one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard and, again, this is not a secret recording, this is something he voluntarily said and purposefully shared online…

With Lean, you’ll just make bad stuff faster? So he’s the Lean Six Sigma Samurai and he’s dishonored himself if not the entire Lean Sigma movement… if only there were some traditional ceremonial Samurai way to stop saying these things… ah right, seppuku. No, Jim Bowie, seppuku is NOT one of the Ss in the 5S methodology. And put that sword down. We need need to keep that an inactive sword, Jim…

Making bad stuff faster… saying bad stuff faster… Jim Bowie is today’s worst person in the Lean, ahem, Lean Sigma world…

(throw papers)

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