I was cleaning out my hard drive (I hesitate to call that “5S-ing”)… moving some files to an external disk and deleting others.
I stumbled across something fun that I wrote back in 2012. I don't think I ever published it here because I was probably going to try to find somebody to record it musically. Actually, upon review, I probably didn't publish it because it wasn't that great.
I've tried revising it a bit… it's pretty lousy, but oh well. I needed a diversion during these trying times. I'm open to suggestions for the lyrics or adding a verse (leave a comment below).
It would be amazing if anybody reading this would like to record this to share (with whatever lyrical tweaks you'd have to make). I guess it's by nature a duet. I cannot sing, so don't ask me to do it with you, LOL.
It's a parody of a Barenaked Ladies song, of course. I saw them in concert first in Boston back in 1997 (when I was in grad school). I also had the chance to see the current version of the band last summer in Dallas. It's not the same without Steven Page, but it was still amazing.
![](https://www.leanblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Screen-Shot-2020-04-18-at-8.48.18-AM.jpg)
One time, flying back from Toronto to DFW, the entire band was up in first class (as I could see while boarding and from my seat in the front part of coach).
So the song is “If I Had a Million Dollars.”
Maybe that's appropriate for Lean, because there is a book called 40 Years, 20 Million Ideas: The Toyota Suggestion System – I own a copy.
Here's the song:
If I Had a Million Kaizens
With apologies to BNL
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
Well I'd 5S your house (I would 5S your house)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd not buy furniture for your house (maybe we could just rearrange the room)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd buy you a Camry (a nice reliable automobile)
If I had a million kaizens, our employees would love…
If I had a million kaizens
I'd build up employee engagement
If I had a million kaizens
You could help it wouldn't be that hard
If I had a million kaizens
(Maybe we could put a little tiny right-sized fridge in there somewhere)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd buy you a Lean book (but not a Lean Sigma book that's cruel)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd eliminate waste from your work (like motion or processing)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd buy you all of colors of 5S tape (All them crazy electrical tapes)
If I had a million kaizens, our employees would love….
If I had a million kaizens
We wouldn't have to search for supplies
If I had a million kaizens
Our healthcare wouldn't cost more
If I had a million kaizens
We wouldn't have to serve toast for dinner (but our cafeteria would, because Bruce Hamilton likes it anyway)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd buy you green scrubs (but only if I had your buy in)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd buy you another Lean book (An Ohno or a Jeff Liker)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
I'd buy you a huddle board (haven't you always wanted a huddle board?)
If I had a million kaizens (If I had a million kaizens)
If I had a million kaizens…
If I had a million kaizens I'd be RICH!
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