April Fool: The 10 Best Lean Management Secrets You’ll Ever Want to Learn & Use
Updated 4/2/14: Yes, this was an April Fool's joke :-)
Today, I'm really excited to share with you the 10 best Lean management secrets that I've compiled through my own experiences and from interviewing hundreds of Lean leaders in different industries. These industries include manufacturing and… well, Lean only works in manufacturing, of course, so that's it. But, I've compiled insights that can help your organization whether you make small cars or slightly larger cars. That's just how flexible these Lean methodologies and secrets are.
The management secrets document will answer commonly asked questions, such as:
- What's the one most important thing we should do in our Lean journey?
- What's the second?
- Tell me one more
That last one isn't a question. If you didn't realize that, you'll see how important these Top 10 Secrets are to you and your organization. How important? Very important. How very important? Exactly.
You might say, “That sounds too good to be true!” If you say that then this might be too good to be true. What's the rub?
Here's the rub…
To learn these 10 Best Lean Management Secrets, you'll need a new premium membership to LeanBlog.org. Sorry, I thought I mentioned that earlier.
We hate to do this, but when people ask Mark, “So… what do you do, exactly?,” everybody thinks that running a moderately popular blog in an incredibly narrow niche would be wildly profitable. But, they're wrong.
It's time to finally monetize LeanBlog.org. Just like Twitter, we now have to worry about revenue and profit. It was inevitable. What are you complaining about? You've gotten free content for the last nine years. As Facebook will be doing, it's time to convert this into a paid service.
Starting April 15, LeanBlog.org content will only be available to paid members at one of three membership levels. To show that we're not greedy bastards here at LeanBlog.org, a portion of proceeds will be donated to charity [Legal disclaimer: a “portion” is generally accepted to be any non-zero number].
So, here's the offer… to help keep this blog profitable, the team here needs to awkwardly ask if you'll consider premium membership. You could say “No,” but you'll be missing out on the Lean management secrets that could…. save… your…. organization.
Bronze Level Membership – $2.95/month
To subscribe at the Bronze membership level, click here or on the image at left.
What do you get for the Bronze membership?
- You'll retain access to all of our blog posts and podcasts
- You'll get access to the 10 Best Top Lean Management Secrets
- You'll get a special membership card signifying your Bronze membership
- You'll earn the right to be emailed daily about upgrading your membership (and we WILL sell your email address)
- Plan auto-renews every month and cannot be canceled
Silver Level Membership – $4.95/month
To subscribe at the Silver membership level, click here or on the image at left.
What do you get for the Silver membership?
- You”ll get all that crappy Bronze stuff…. and….
- You'll not only gain access to the 10 Best Top Lean Management Secrets, but you'll also gain access to three additional Super Top Secret Lean Management Secrets that are actually better (and you'll have to help keep them a secret)
- You'll get a special certificate signifying your Silver membership
- You'll get a special t-shirt that you can wear to Lean conferences and the small handful of places where such a shirt would be impressive (only one standardized size available – small)
- You'll receive the first opportunity to invest in our new Kickstarter campaign to produce a concert documentary of the comedy stylings of our friend Dr. Les Muda
- Plan auto-renew can be canceled at any time (early termination fee of $300 applies)
Gold Level Membership – $9.95/month
To subscribe at the Gold membership level, click here or on the image at left.
What do you get for the Gold membership? What DON'T you get?
- You'll get all those Bronze and Silver goodies
- You'll get all 13 Best Top Lean Management Secrets, plus a classified number of additional Lean Management Secrets
- You'll be among the first to receive the “Certified Blog Reader” certification from the Lean Blog Institute. The certificate will be hand signed by LeanBlog.org founder Mark Graban
- Do you like cursing? You'll receive daily access to the unrated director's cut version of Mark Graban's posts, as they were meant to be read before a team of editors tones them down for public consumption.
- Plan can be canceled at any time (after waiting three hours on hold and then being offered a free month to remain on as a member)
- Special access to Mark Graban's personal cell phone number [Legal disclaimer: Phone will likely not be answered]
Risk-Free Shared Savings Model – Free*!
What's the asterisk all about? If you don't want to take the risk of a monthly membership rate, I'm happy to offer a “shared savings” model (as I recently raved about!).
How does this work? It's simple! At the end of each year, add up the cost savings that you've generated based on ideas that you've learned from LeanBlog.org. Don't forget to include increased revenue!
Multiple that financial impact by 0.143834134875 (no rounding!) and that amount is what you owe LeanBlog.org.
Send a check to:
P.O. Box 6533
San Antonio TX 78209
It's just that easy.
If you read LeanBlog.org and get ZERO benefits from it, you pay nothing. It's risk free!
Sign Me Up!
As they say, “Sign me up!” We know you'll enjoy these new options to give us revenue! Thanks for reading and, now, thanks for paying!
I realize some of you will lose access to career-saving Lean Blog content because it's not covered by your employer. We feel your pain.
That's why we are happy to announce that, starting May 1, you'll be able to sign up for subsidized premium site memberships at the Bronze, Silver, and Gold levels. Our contractors tell me that the Lean Blog exchanges will be up and running by then and that initial testing is going very well. Check back here for more details and updates throughout the month of April.
Thanks again for your readership… and your money!
- Announcing my Next #Lean Book Project – Baby's First Lean Book
- Back to the Future: Hospital CEOs and Virtual Reality “Gemba Bots”
- New “A3″ App Utilizes Two iPads & Virtual Sensei Technology
- A New Way to Learn Lean? Wii Lean!
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You should’ve made your membership levels belt colors instead. That would’ve been hecka cool!
What are these “belts” you speak of? I’m unaware of this…
No Ginzu knifes?
Can I pay with BitCoin?
BitCoin? That sounds about as real as “belts,” but why not. Mail the BitCoins to the address in the post. Thanks!
Great April’s Fool Joke-Charging money for visitors to view your blog and beginning the service on Tax Day-April 15th…LOL
Et tu, Mark Graban?!?
Noe to self: read the entire article, not just the bold text . . .
Knowing you, this is hilarious! I like Adam’s “bitcoin” payment system for belt levels. Also enjoyed this engineering approach to numbers, “Multiple that financial impact by 0.143834134875.”
Thanks for brightening our day! Who said, this lean stuff could not be fun?
Mark, may I pay in dog show ribbons? I have lots of blue colors, some red, a few yellow and many greens, which in the dog agility world are the BEST. I figure I have enough for at least the next 10 years. I am willing to pay in advance. Just let me know.
Very creative. I have pennies…….
Happy April Fool’s Day! :-)