Comments on: Two Sentences That Don’t Help

By: Rick Bohan

Rick Bohan — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 12:45:00 +0000

I’ve never been sure why “focus on ‘feelings’ and wanting to make sure everyone is all warm and fuzzy in the work setting” is always mentioned in a pejorative way as if it would be a bad thing for an organization to do. There’s a fair amount of data that show that “warm and fuzzy” organizations perform better, on average, than “cold and prickly companies”.

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By: Mark Graban

Mark Graban — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:43:00 +0000

Thanks for the good discussion everyone.

One detail that I didn’t share, that maybe adds some context…. the “public” setting I’m describing is a nursing station in the hospital.

So, public loud broadcasting of negativity could be overheard by families or even patients. It’s a bit different than how that interaction might be perceived on a factory floor where customers aren’t present.

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 08:08:00 +0000

Sorry, I forgot to mention that what I said is not in reference to leaders and managers as I do agree with Mark that they really need to stay positive above the frey.
I also feel they should be the first to respond to a naysayer with questions which requires them to support their opinion as this often allows the person to say their peace and feel apart of the team.
It also allows for potentially unknown variables to be discovered, and diffuses the possible tension in the room while refocusing everyone back onto the main issue.
– Ryan

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By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 07:57:00 +0000

First, I think in this post and in these comments there is far too much focus on ‘feelings’ and wanting to make sure everyone is all warm and fuzzy in the work setting.

Basically, in the job setting, we’re all adults and as such we all should be mature enough to have someone reply to an idea with either “That won’t work.” or “I don’t like that.” and not be offended.

I have found that the easiest way to respond to people who say things like this is simply to ask why.
Usually they have a reason for their belief, but often it is something that can be overcome many times quite easily once it is known.

Conversely, I have observed a lot of public support for many ideas and projects only for them to be undermined and ultimately destroyed through private negative conversations that are never official and can slowly corrode, and diffuse support.

Honestly, I really prefer everyone to be blunt and upfront in public, no matter how negative it is as long as they can logically back up their viewpoint.

For those who don’t like how it feels when someone says “That won’t work.” or “I don’t like that.”; grow up and become a constructive part of the conversation by asking the person who made those statements to validate their opinion so you can better learn their point of view.
Stop worrying about how you feel and step into their shoes so you can attempt to learn how they see these things.

– Ryan

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By: Rick Bohan

Rick Bohan — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:14:00 +0000

Assuming we’re talking about ideas and such rather than, as Jamie says, uncalled for language, I tell supervisors to say, “Tell me more about that,” and “What I hear you saying is…” until they have enough data to respond to the employee’s ideas. It puts the ball in the employee’s court and allows the supervisor to make certain he or she has all the information needed to say, “That’s a good idea!”…or something else.

If, after all the data is in, it turns out the employee’s idea or position doesn’t have merit, the response I suggest to supervisors is, “We need to keep keep thinking about this.” or “We need to consider some additional/other alternatives.”

Some have told me they think these sorts of responses are just attempts to be “politically correct” but I see them as appropriate when the organization is trying to engender an action oriented, participative culture.

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By: Jamie Flinchbaugh

Jamie Flinchbaugh — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 13:50:00 +0000

There are times when someone should absolutely, positively criticize publicly. It should be done as feedback, not just straight criticize, so the HOW matters a great deal.

The common situation is this – someone does something or says something that is unacceptable behavior. Perhaps it’s acting in an unsafe manner, perhaps it’s putting someone down, perhaps it’s acting sexist or racist. If you keep that criticism private, you end up enabling that behavior to repeat in other people. You must take action on those behaviors quickly and publicly.

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By: Mark Graban

Mark Graban — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:21:00 +0000

My concern about keeping negativity private is that, even if you turn that into constructive discussion, the negativity tends to be louder and overheard more by people who don’t then hear the positive outcome.

I think keeping negativity private goes in line with the good management advice of “criticize privately, praise publicly”.

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By: Mike T.

Mike T. — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:16:00 +0000

I always drive one phrase into each group I work with: “how do we change ‘we can’t because…’ into ‘what would we have to do…’” It allows them to “clear the air” and the negative vibes, then turns into a great brainstorming session for ideas to get around the obsticles. It also helps stimulate or drive home that cultural change we want to accomplish. Negativism isn’t bad and shouldn’t be kept in private. Hit it head-on and turn it into something positive. Keeping it private only fuels the fire…and some really great ideas come from being forced to go beyond it, rather than be allowed to use it as an excuse.

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By: curiouscat

curiouscat — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:00:00 +0000

I don’t agree it is pure negativity. I understand that the psychology of many people has lead them to want confirmation and to dislike criticism of even ideas they propose. There are techniques to use better words. But I wish more people objected to bad ideas instead of just letting them go because they were afraid of being seen as negative.

Yes it would be nice if they objected in some wonderfully polished way. It would however also be nice if people were not so insecure that criticizing an idea had to be avoided at all costs without couching in positive terms.

People should try to be constructive with criticism. I don’t think there are many people that disagree with that. The problem I see far more often is people need to learn how to encourage people to criticize their ideas. We want more people providing their thought not less. And what I see most often from people objecting to “negative” people is trying to discourage raising legitimate issues and using the claim of “negativity.” Obviously this is not always the case. But that is the problem I see far more often than the problem really being someone that is just negative.

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By: Mark Graban

Mark Graban — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 14:53:00 +0000

I think you can have the discussions in private without stifling feedback.

I can handle “people being negative” if they aren’t broadcasting that negativity where lots of people overhear it. That’s especially true for supervisors. Argue, complain, be negative all you want in a private setting… but leaders need to be positive in public, I think.

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